We have a Champ! ... and a family dynasty?

This is 2024 Ganza champ Hannah S celebrating with Ellen D.

In the time it took UConn and Alabama to win their Elite Eight games today, 14 more Ganzans were relegated to the dust bin of history. The only Ganzan left standing was Hannah S, who had this to say, "Well, I pretty much had this thing in the bag from the get go this year. My dad Mike S is rambling on about picking my picks for me, but don't listen to him. He's just a sore loser. What really shocks me though is that my grandma, Ellen D, is already hitting me up for money. I mean, she did pay my entry, but that's what grandmas do, no? I call bullshit. I earned this! That money is mine!" When asked to expand further, she changed the subject. "Forget all that, let's talk about the S family becoming the First Family of the Ganza. According to my calculations, we now have seven titles under the S family roof; My grandma Ellen D in 1992 and 2016, my dad Michael S in 1990 (who cares if there were only three people participating that year), my little brother Jack S (that little squirt) in 2014 & 2023, my uncle Tim S's dog Murray in 2022, and now me! If only my sister Natalie S would carry her own weight around here, well..."

This is not the S family. This is the T family.

Given their newfound fame as the First Family of the Ganza, the S family has decided to model themselves after our country's beloved T family, and sell anything they can think of to raise money. Sources say there are already plans in motion to create an S University, sell S Steaks, S bibles, S gold hightop sneakers, S brand bottled water, a collectible set of S Family gold coins, S signature neckties, S action figures, S Maga hats, S EFT's, pieces of the shirt Hannah S was wearing when she won this year's festivities, and anything else they can come up with. When asked about her take on this, the family matriarch Ellen D said, "Look, I figure there are a lot of suckers out there we can get to part with their money, and if they're stupid enough to send us their hard earned cash, we deserve it. If nothing else, we may need it to pay our lawyers at some point, so it'll get put to good use. And, we will soon be kicking Corey W off the Ganza Organizing Committee and replacing him with Mo/Lucas (also from the S family). Then we can funnel all Ganza donations to ourselves win or lose! In fact, I don't see us ever losing again. See you next year, suckers!"