We have a Champ! ... and a family dynasty?

This is 2024 Ganza champ Hannah S celebrating with Ellen D.

In the time it took UConn and Alabama to win their Elite Eight games today, 14 more Ganzans were relegated to the dust bin of history. The only Ganzan left standing was Hannah S, who had this to say, "Well, I pretty much had this thing in the bag from the get go this year. My dad Mike S is rambling on about picking my picks for me, but don't listen to him. He's just a sore loser. What really shocks me though is that my grandma, Ellen D, is already hitting me up for money. I mean, she did pay my entry, but that's what grandmas do, no? I call bullshit. I earned this! That money is mine!" When asked to expand further, she changed the subject. "Forget all that, let's talk about the S family becoming the First Family of the Ganza. According to my calculations, we now have seven titles under the S family roof; My grandma Ellen D in 1992 and 2016, my dad Michael S in 1990 (who cares if there were only three people participating that year), my little brother Jack S (that little squirt) in 2014 & 2023, my uncle Tim S's dog Murray in 2022, and now me! If only my sister Natalie S would carry her own weight around here, well..."

This is not the S family. This is the T family.

Given their newfound fame as the First Family of the Ganza, the S family has decided to model themselves after our country's beloved T family, and sell anything they can think of to raise money. Sources say there are already plans in motion to create an S University, sell S Steaks, S bibles, S gold hightop sneakers, S brand bottled water, a collectible set of S Family gold coins, S signature neckties, S action figures, S Maga hats, S EFT's, pieces of the shirt Hannah S was wearing when she won this year's festivities, and anything else they can come up with. When asked about her take on this, the family matriarch Ellen D said, "Look, I figure there are a lot of suckers out there we can get to part with their money, and if they're stupid enough to send us their hard earned cash, we deserve it. If nothing else, we may need it to pay our lawyers at some point, so it'll get put to good use. And, we will soon be kicking Corey W off the Ganza Organizing Committee and replacing him with Mo/Lucas (also from the S family). Then we can funnel all Ganza donations to ourselves win or lose! In fact, I don't see us ever losing again. See you next year, suckers!"

 An Easy Dozen Go Down!

Donuts anyone?

After another exciting night of good games, we are finally making some progress in this year's festivities. No less than 12 Ganzans bit the dust tonight when #1 Houston and #3 Creighton went down. Thanks to NC St and Clemson still being alive, a number of Ganzans are still in it, despite only having #3 Illinois, or #1 UConn and #1 Purdue. The current frontrunner is still Hannah S, who could clinch the victory tomorrow if #1 Uconn and #4 Alabama both win their games. Running a close second are Darrell C and David G. With a few games falling their way, they could be crowned champion as well. Most of the other scenarios would be a clusterfuck of potential ties if both NC St and Clemson advance to the Final Four. 

Tonight's loser list includes:

1992 & 2016 champ Ellen D, 1993-1995-2012 champ Corey W, 2022 champ Murray's Ghost, Frank G, Aidan S, Jeff F, 2017 champ Daskell, Dawn F, Pappy, Michael F, 1990 champ Michael S, and 1999-2010-2019 champ Andrew C.

Better luck next year, folks!

This is Katie B & Tommy T looking a bit cozy...

Seen dipping into the sauce and celebrating quite heartily late into the night after Alabama's victory Thursday, speculation has grown that the two genius US Senators could be not only stepping out on their spouses, but with each other(!). What just doesn't make sense in this reporter's mind is how they could possibly breach the holy family values they continually preach. I mean, it's one thing to support a law breaking, sex abusing, democracy destroying, dementia-laden heathen like Donald T, but to actually not be straight up citizens themselves? Is the world turning upside down!?! When reached for comment, Tommy T had this to say, "No comment. I just can't wait for Katie's upcoming community production of 'Our Town' next week in rural Alabama. If it doesn't lead to some Hollywood offers, we'll really know how biased the liberal media is. Other than that, I would like to congratulate the Alabama Supreme Court for outlawing IVF. Next up, birth control! Roll tide."

And, the picks page has been updated!

 Have A Nice Day!

Blooming Cherry Blossoms in the UW Quad

With tensions running high and many people's livelihoods on the line this weekend, we here at the Ganza would like to wish you a pleasant Friday. 

 Down goes AZ. Down goes NC. Down go 6 Ganzans.

This is Hannah S. She is sitting sweet.

Despite some good close games, it was a relatively tame first Sweet 16 round Thursday night, with only six ganzans biting the dust. Those relegated to dreaming of next year are Natalie S, Ryder G, Mo/Lucas, 2021 champ Dave B, Josh G, and Susana C. Sorry, losers. The only one of us left completely unscathed is young Hannah S, sister of 2-time and defending champ Jack S. When asked how she felt, Hannah S had this to say, "Finally I'm taking it to the whole family. My sister Natalie S is done. My dad Michael S is hanging on by a thread. And that little s&%#! Jack S, well, let's just say I'm putting him in his place too. As my favorite songwriter Leonard Cohen would say, Hallelujah!!"

This is Jim J. He is a tool.

After hearing another member of the S family was currently in the lead of the 2024 Final Four Extravaganza, House Judiciary Chairman Jim J (R-Ohio) and his pal House Committee on Oversight and Accountability Chairman James C (R-KY) decided to hold a hearing in order to prove some things so they can bring articles of impeachment against the whole S family. When reached for comment, Jim J said, "Given the laptop, the millions of dollars Michael S has received from shady Ukrainian business deals, the fact Jack S just happened to win the Ganza last year at 10 years old (for the second time!), and all the shady Russian witnesses we have telling us lies about the S's, this will be a slam dunk impeachment. The S crime family is going down... or at least we'll pretend it is, so the right wing media machine can endlessly repeat it until all those folks living in the right wing media bubble believe it. Who cares if there's really anything there or not, or if it the whole charade costs taxpayers millions of dollars? Hilary's emails! Benghazi! Stop the Steal! USA!"

This is a Ganza office celebration as Illinois held on for the win.

It is with great sadness we announce that after many years of unrelenting dedication and enthusiasm, long time Ganza office employee Lisa L will be leaving her post at the close of this year's festivities. Ganza Co-Chair Corey W had this to say, "There's no replacing a Lisa L. We here at the Ganza will always have fond memories of her pushing us to be our best, and showing up everyday ready to work with a smile on her face."

 If you know anyone who might be interested in joining our team and earning some big bucks, have them contact the Ganza offices.  

Job Requirements: An eternally cheery attitude, knowledge of blogs and picks pages, a desire to get rich quick.

BTW, the Picks Page will be updated tomorrow. Lisa L partied a little too hard tonight. 😁

 2 Down... 33 To Go

This is Kimberly G. 

She feels sick about LA Frank G's fate.

In another day of relatively few upsets, only two Ganzans have so far been knocked out of this year's festivities. The two losers are LA Frank G and Danny M. When reached for comment, LA Frank G had this to say, "Ya know, this is probably the 25th straight year I haven't won this damn thing, and I ain't gonna lie, it hurts. I just can't help picking Tennessee year after year, and usually that loyalty to the Vols is what screws me. Well, this year they are the only one of my teams to make it to the Sweet 16. Go figure. Fuckin' Auburn, Baylor and Kentucky. And to make things even worse, that little shit Ryder G is still in it. Now I'm gonna have to listen to him taunting me about this for the rest of the year." We here at the Ganza feel you, Mr G, we feel you.

This is Donald T. He shit his pants.

In other sporting news from earlier today, a certain stable genius, before claiming to have won two simultaneous club championships (senior and regular - at one of his own clubs), was escorted off the golf course after an emergency boom boom he wasn't expecting (see photo above). No worries though, another pair of pants was located for him to wear to the awards ceremony.

Stay tuned for next week's Sweet 16 and Elite 8 games. Things could go fast, and severe carnage will surely ensue.

Ducks go down...AGAIN!! 

(but not to Washington this time)

This is a Duck player. He is a loser, just like Bo Nix.

This is Michael Penix. He is a winner.

After Oregon got twice humiliated this past football season by the Washington Huskies, they have now been put in their place in March Madness as well. This time by Creighton, who outscored the lowly Ducks by a 15-2 margin in the second overtime. Ouch. As it turns out, three Ganzans were foolish enough to take Oregon this year. The first two, Susan K and Rose F, we can let off the hook and assume innocent ignorance. The third was unbelievably Ganza Co-founder Michael S, who should've known better. No excuses. In fact, we here at the Ganza are not the only ones let down and disillusioned by this betrayal. As we print, charges are being brought by none other than Marge TG in Congress to relieve said co-founder of his duties. When reached for comment, Marge TG had this to say, "I filed a motion to vacate today. Never have I seen a bigger betrayal of this country than a tried and true lifetime Husky fan taking Oregon in the Ganza. I realize this will throw the House and the Ganza Organizing Committee into chaos, but I had no choice. And, teaching CRT in our schools is child abuse!"

This is Marge TG. She is an intelligent patriot.

BTW, no Ganzans have yet been eliminated. Check back tomorrow.

 

Fare Thee Well, Flo W

   This is Flo W. She was well-loved

Flo W., mother of Extravaganza co-founder, Corey W. passed away recently. She was 100 years old. Flo was a wonderful woman and long-time Ganzan. While she never won the Ganza, she entered every year with optimism and excitement. She is survived by her 3 children and 6 grandchildren. 

Rest in Peace, Flo. The tournament won’t be the same without you. 

Welcome back everyone to the 35th annual Final Four Extravaganza! Last year was a crazy one, but young Jack S. prevailed for the 2nd time. Don’t hate him because he’s good, hate him because he’s only 10 years old! 

Jack S. And Olivia R. Together at Last!

Jack used some of his earnings to get these sweet seats to see the Olivia Rodrigo concert. To those of you who are jealous Jack had this to say, “Don’t be SOUR, show some GUTS!”

The rules are the same as last year. Get your picks in by 30 minutes after the end of the last play-in game on Wednesday, March 20th. And even though inflation has run rampant (or rampid for the illiterate among us) the Ganza is still ONLY $50. Which makes it the best deal in town!