Everybody Still Alive After Round 2!! 

This is Ron S. congratulating a fellow Miami fan after the game.

In an amazing feat, every Ganzan (including Rose F(!)) survived the first weekend of action. This is due to the fact that nobody has both #3 Gonzaga and #2 Texas, and that there are still unclaimed teams left in the other two regions. 

When asked to comment after both #5 Miami and #9 Florida Atlantic University advanced to the Sweet Sixteen, Governor Ron S. had this to say, "Even though the woke mob tried to steal those games from us, truth and justice prevailed. I will now be signing into law bills banning wokeness, books, CRT, Black history, abortions, gay people, voting rights, and crooked referees so this will never happen again. There is a reason everyone is moving from California to Florida. It's called FREEDOM!"

This is Smoky. He's a Volunteer.

In other news, long time Ganzan Frank G., for the first time in roughly 30 years, did not pick Tennessee to make it to the Final Four. They are now in the Sweet 16 and knocking on the door. This reporter tracked down Ryder G. (who along with Trevor G. are the only two with all four teams left) for comment. "WTF? Are you kidding me? The man raised and brainwashed me to stay loyal to Tennessee until I die. OMFG this pisses me off. Oh well, at least I took them. Read'em and weep, old man!" 

This is Marsha B.. She's also a Volunteer.

After the Vols victory over #5 Duke, Tennessee's US Senator Marsha B. was asked about Frank G's betrayal of her beloved state. She had this to say, "Despite his misguided choice, I think Frank G. is a lot like me. It's tough to be a trailblazer and to be on the front end on a regular, ongoing basis, but somebody's gotta do it. I mean we all know women don't want equal pay, universal daycare is Soviet propaganda, climate change doesn't exist, and who cares about Covid? Not to mention, Joe Biden is trying to cover up the payments his family received from Communist China business partners. And don't get me started on Taylor Swift. Go Vols!"