Stop This Little Shit Before He Wins Again

Since winning the 25th Annual Final Four Extravaganza, Jack S. has become full of himself. He refuses to take his sunglasses off, no matter the occasion and when the subject is broached he shrugs and says, "I gotta be me, babe". Of course, his behavior is somewhat understandable. After all, in his 22 months of life all he's ever known is that the Seahawks play in the Super Bowl and that he's Extravaganza Champion.

Which is why, as his father, I'm begging you: Don't let him win again. It's tearing our family apart. Every day he taunts his sisters, rubbing their noses in the fact that he won in his first try while they have been playing for years with nothing to show for it. He's insufferable and I'm afraid that one of these days Natalie or Hannah are gonna make him disappear. 

As understandable as that would be, we can't let it happen. His mother and I have grown quite attached to him and so, we need your help. Enter the 26th Annual Final Four Extravaganza. Hell, enter two or three times, if you like. Just make sure you pick wisely, because we can't bear the idea of this little S.O.B. winning again. Our family may not survive another year of Jack's dominance. 

Please. We're begging. Help Stop the Madness.

Call or email your picks in by an hour after the last play-in game Wednesday night, March 18th. Good luck everyone. We must stop Jack S. 

Think of the Children.