Gonzaga delivers for Dave B
In what turned out to be an uneventful drubbing, Gonzaga destroyed USC by 19 points, handing Dave B the title of 2021 Final Four Extravaganza (Covid-19 edition) Champion. Dave B picked 3 teams that made it to the Final Four, accumulating a whopping total of 2 points... which was more than anyone else. If only someone had taken #11 UCLA(!). With his title, Dave B will receive $1450 and see his name added to the Hall of Champions... right after we add 2019 champ Andrew C.
When asked to comment on his victory, Dave B had this to say,
'Well, first off, I'd like to thank god for giving me this chance. He blessed me with my talent, my wardrobe, and my coolness. Without him, I'd be nowhere. And second, I would like to acknowledge co-chair Corey W, who also chose Houston and Gonzaga, but for some fucking idiotic reason took Purdue instead of Baylor. I mean, Purdue!?! WTF was he thinking? When has Purdue ever done squat in this tourney? But, just so there are no hard feelings, I would like to donate half my winnings to his preferred charity.'
When tracked down and asked his preferred charity, Corey W said,
'It sounds like Dave B really has the makings of a great champion. Please tell him, and anyone else that is interested, to send their donations to the Matt Gaetz legal defense fund, c/o Make America Great Again, Florida.'
This is Matt G. He is an asshole... and now he's in trouble
For the second straight year, Rose F was the last person knocked out of the Ganza. After seeing her slam her fists on the table and tear apart the restaurant pictured above, this reporter decided to let her cool down before congratulating her and giving her the admiration she deserves. Maybe next year, Rose!
For those few of you who have not paid, LET"S DO IT!!!! So I can pay Dave B.
Thank you, and good night.
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